When mid life punches you in the gut

Hard hitting 

I thought the grass was greener
So did he
Mike's death is not about me
But the punishment
The remorse
The loneliness
His drinking
The drinking game
Me
making sure he got home safe
If you try and judge my anger look straight in the mirror
Addictions destroy
They destroy families
Friends
The ability to live a normal life
Selfishness
Have you ever been the recipient of a porn addiction
Looking at the history
Knowing you aren't good enough
Lies
We weren't good enough
I am out loud
Mike kept strings through all things
The quiet lies
Keeping us all
On that string
The mental decompensation
If you give someone all your money how could it be you can't pay for a divorce ?
Mike never wanted a divorce
I didn't deserve the weeks of heartache and shock
The photos in the drawer of the woman who started and ended it
The phone full of heartache
The financial mess
He made sure to alienate the option
No divorce
Until Sandra arrived
She never arrived